hello reality. thanks for the slap in the face.
i’ve been losing touch with reality. and yesterday i got bitch slapped. and as painful as it was, i really needed it. i broke down. i cried. out of frustration. out fear. everyday i’m losing more time and i feel hopeless. i need to wake up and live. i need to get serious and do those things i always planned on doing, RIGHT NOW and not later. i’m not getting younger and time isn’t slowing down.
my plan has never been part of anything comfortable. but i started to draw myself into the idea of being comfortable and lost track. it was never part of my grand plan to end up in texas. it crossed my mind, but i’m not sure if it’s something i really want. i would be doing it for him. i would be doing it because it feels safe and comfortable. and that could easily turn on me someday.
i need do this on my own. i’ve been relying too much on other things and people, when this is a strictly a me thing. i need to keep driving. i need to keep moving. i can’t stop. if i ever stop, i’ll get comfortable and then i’ll get stuck. i don’t want to be stuck anymore.
don’t you dare give up.